"I mean what They and Their psychiatrists call 'delusional systems.' Needless to say, 'delusions' are always officially defined." --Capt. Geoffrey "Pirate" Prentice, Gravity's Rainbow
"Well, that's, like, just your opinion, man." --The Dude, The Big Lebowski

Sunday, August 19, 2012

But Seriously...LOL


            In the realm of technology, I tend to be something of a luddite, a person who is comfortable with the way things are and reluctant to jump into anything “tech-y” with both feet.  While I was an early adopter of the cell phone (summer 1999), I didn’t buy a smart phone until earlier this year. My first CD player? Christmas, 1990. In fact, I went off to college in 1993 without a personal computer.  When I changed majors from biology to English, I liberated an electronic typewriter from my parents’ home office.  That was 1996. But since I’m in the education game, I've come to terms with the fact that I need to get on board with new technologies before my colleagues start whispering about my peculiar relationship with my overhead projector.
            Having said that, once I take on a new technology I tend to run with it. I check my phone a couple times an hour these days. I visit four or five websites on a daily basis. And after a friend convinced me to create a Facebook profile in 2008, I began an obsession with “sharing” my “status,” pictures of my daughter, videos for songs I’m diggin at the time, and, most often, politicizing. I am a political junky...have been since the ’84 election. I was probably the only nine-year old in Chesterfield that had a resentment against Ronald Reagan. And when my senior-year American Civ teacher asked if anyone in class knew who Bob Packwood was, I was, of course, the only student who could name the then Senator from Oregon; he'd recently had to resign because he was sexually harassing his female aides, I informed the class.
            Politics is an important part of my actual, real life personality. Not surprisingly, it is also a part of my virtual personality. I post any interesting articles I read, news clips I see, and, yes, I used to (like three months ago...ahem...okay! okay! it was like last month) get in stupid debates in comment threads. But after reading Stephen Greenblatt’s Pulitzer Prize winning book on Lucretius and the epicurean philosophy, I’ve been tempted to recede from the electronic, and hence political, world...just a bit. But who am I kidding? It’s election season!
            And, besides, what else would I do on Facebook?
            Apparently, this usage of Facebook is not appreciated by all of my “friends.” Recently, I have come across status updates that say something like, “Facebook used to be fun. Now everyone just posts politics and news.” I’m tempted to chime in…to chide you for being such a frivolous person...but that's your business so I resist that temptation…tho maybe I’m giving into it here…in this blog post. Why?
            Over the past couple of days I’ve been doing my small part to dispel the lie that President Obama’s Affordable Care Act (commonly referred to as “Obamacare”) cuts hundreds of billions of dollars from Medicare. I know full well just how much you care about that important issue. (This point of policy is not the point of this post, so if you want my take, just ask. I anticipate an overwhelming number of inquiries, so please be patient. I'm understaffed.) In response to my posting of an enlightening editorial in The New Republic treating the Romney-Ryan campaign's hypocrisy on the issue, one of my “friends” added the following comment: Can't you just start a blog and leave all of us carefree Facebookers in peace?” 
             Oh, the irony. Anyone who is friends with me in any way, shape, or form knows that I write a blog (very occasionally these days…more on that in a note at the bottom).
            Of course, I found this highly insulting, but that wouldn’t provoke me to write a blog post. More to the point is that Facebook is an open forum, a place for me to be me and you to be you…virtually.  Seemingly, this individual felt that I had violated some unwritten rule of Facebook. Odd, dontchya think? Still, I am wondering what Facebook is for? Did I violate some rule? What is Facebook's purpose? Dunno… Dunno… Some of my “friends” I don’t even know, and some of my closest associates in real life aren’t on the book. And does any of my Facebook ranting on taxes or infrastructure or foreign conflicts or  human rights or debt debacles do any good? Dunno… Dunno… There probably is no single answer to these questions.
And, just as interestingly, people often use Facebook in ways that irk me too. Yet, I have found a way—actually quite a few ways—to cope with the horrifying experience of laying eyes on a somewhat annoying post. Here goes:

1.      You can accept that people are going to post things that annoy you and move on to the posts you are interested in.  This is what I do when you post pictures of your cat. Or when you share a meme that glosses over a complex aspect of being with a sappy and sentimental cliché. Or, in a subtype of the preceding, you post a quotation from the Bible. Or anything else you post that makes me feel a little embarrassed for you.

2.      You can “hide” posts from individuals who habitually post things that annoy you.  You will remain “friends,” and they will never know that their posts never see the daylight of your news feed. This is what I do when you continually post pictures of your cat or habitually try to get me to come see your country band or post “status” updates that amount to telling me that you are buying milk or are cleaning your apartment or car or are headed to the doctor…again and again and again. This is a great option when you don’t want to insult someone by utilizing the tactical nuclear weapon of social networking, which leads me to…

3.      You can defriend people. That’s right. You can defriend people.  This is what I do when people say something I find downright offensive. Unless I am blatantly confronted by your racism or sexism or homophobia, I will probably not say anything. But if you post something racist, I will probably defriend you.  This is what I did to the asshole who told me to start a blog.  And you know what, if I offend you with my posts, you can feel free to defriend me. Agreed?

There. Now I hope we all feel better. Now I can return to my crusade to save the world from the evil forces of Right Wing Extremism and you are now armed with the skills to avoid my crusade. And I will likewise remain blissfully ignorant of just how cute your cat is because I fucking hate cats. Have a nice day.

[Note: I realize posts have been rare these months. I will continue to update The Manic Room when I have something to say, but I am currently engulfed in other creative projects. Thanks for reading.]

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