The Greatest Novels of All Time!, Or Some Contemporary Novels I Liked

          Occasionally someone—a friend, a relative, even a student—does something really weird: they ask me what they should read, presumably because I teach English, right? Normally, I am so caught off guard that I don’t know how to respond. Are they asking me for what they should read for their enjoyment? Am I going to have any idea of what they might enjoy? Are they asking me what they should read…you know, to be well read? Or to just seem well read? And am I even a fit judge? Ah, who cares…I dream up such lists all of the time: they’re called syllabi.

But way back during my undergraduate days, I sheepishly admitted to a prof at UCSD that I just wasn’t all that well read. He laughed and said, “Don’t worry: you will be.” And by god, he was right. And here’s how it happened: simply put, I just started reading…a lot…like habitually. Or as Naomi Lebowitz used tell students about writing essays, it’s just like eating a mammoth sized bowl of spaghetti. You eat a few bites and it still seems just as daunting a task.  But if you keep after it and quit worrying about your progress one day you’ll be really fat and have sauce all over your face. Er…you know what I mean.

Anyhow, I’m considering a multipart guide here, and how far I go with it will depend upon how interested you and I remain in the topic. At some point I will tackle some classics; I will make the case for some authors that you’ve never heard of; and I might offer thoughts on how to approach some of the more intimidating fields of readership, like Shakespeare. But we shall see… First thing’s first. I don’t know where you are as a reader. I’m going to assume that you “like to read” or you wouldn’t be much interested in this post at all. And some of you have read far more deeply and differently than I have. For those eggheads, just take all this as my humble reflections on books and stuff.

Now for our first entry, I’d like to encourage my fellow readers to consider trying a book that isn’t something you’d normally read. Maybe it’s longer than your usual, or maybe it’s different in style or subject matter. As you’ll see, I like my books like I like my sex: long, hard, and fictional. In addition, maybe you have read and enjoyed one of the books on the following list. If so, maybe you’ll take my concurrence with your taste as reason to give one of the others a go. So here’s my first list: there are seven books on it (because I’m against doing ten upon ethical grounds) and in no particular order.... Let’s call it, “Contemporary Novels Aaron Has Read in the Last Year and Enjoyed Immensely” [continued after the jump]:

"I'm sorry that I write too compulsively to write
up to the standards of my actual talent," said King in my imagination.

The Stand by Stephen King: King is the best-selling novelist of all time, but that’s not why I’ve placed The Stand on this list. Many readers have read something by Stephen King, but he is a very…um…how do I say this politely…inconsistent…yes, an inconsistent author. If you’ve only read Christine or Carrie, you are not quite aware of what King is capable of. While oftentimes King seems no more than a hack, at other moments he creates at a level that rivals any of our great novelists. Foremost, I think it’s helpful to find exceedingly long books worth reading…and The Stand is really fucking long, like way over a thousand pages. But many of the greatest novels lie unread because potential readers dismiss them because they are “too long.” Yet, long books can accomplish creative goals that just are not possible in four-, or even five-, hundred pages. And if The Stand isn’t ambitious, it isn’t anything. The first third of the novel details the near extinction of the human race as a result of a superflu pandemic in a manner that is gripping, realistic, and utterly horrifying on multiple levels. The remainder of the novel concerns the struggle for a miniscule percentage of survivors to rekindle human civilization. And, if that weren’t bad enough, they’ll have to overcome King’s finest villain—Randall Flagg, a man that is both startlingly developed and a pure demonic emptiness. It gives me the willies just thinking about it. Anyhow, the complex narrative follows numerous interweaving paths and digressions, one of which is one of the finest stretches of a novel I’ve ever read: trust me, you will never forget the short-lived partnership between Trashcan Man and The Kid. I just wish I could be there to see the look on your face….

A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick: It never fails to amaze me how many people have never heard of Philip K. Dick…and yet you know many of his stories because they’ve been developed into films such as Blade Runner, Minority Report, Total Recall, and, yes, A Scanner Darkly. Recently an emeritus at my institution remarked (and I’m paraphrasing) that Dick was a visionary but just not a very good writer. And maybe that’s why he isn’t read more or more of a household name. Anyhow, it’s just not true. He’s certainly idiosyncratic, but Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? (the inspiration for Blade Runner) was one of the most popular reads in my SciFi course this term. But even if SciFi isn’t your thing, then Scanner is still a book you should read. The novel concerns the melancholy drug-addicted have-nots marginalized from a materialistic, mass-produced culture. Sound familiar? The story centers on Bob…or is it Fred? You see Fred is an undercover police officer who is also Bob a dealer thoroughly addicted to the thoroughly deadly designer-drug, Slow D.  And the trippy thing is, not even Fred/Bob is sure who he really is…or whether he’s actually two people. The novel is both hilarious and poignant; it’s very tightly composed, really crisp; and Dick features a slew of a zany characters that are both funny and uncannily recognizable as drug addicts. If you’ve ever dealt with addiction, directly or indirectly, this novel will hit home.

The Rules of Attraction by Bret Easton Ellis: I was tempted to place American Psycho on this list, but I didn’t want to alienate anyone from ever taking any of my reading suggestions ever again. Why? I’ll address that in a future blog. Anyhow, after reading American Psycho, I wanted to see what Ellis could do with less utterly offensive material (you must admit that it takes a rare talent to piss off both Gloria Steinem and Wayne LaPierre), so I read Less than Zero. And I was disappointed. So disappointed that I would have given up on Ellis had I read it first. But AP is so well written that I decided to give him one more chance, and boy am I glad that I did. The Rules of Attraction centers on a bizarre love triangle between three students, one of which is Sean Bateman…Patrick’s little bro. Sean isn’t quite a sociopath, but he’s the next best thing. These “lovers” attend a fictional liberal arts college in New Hampshire in the 1980s. If you love the 80s, you’ll love the pop-culture references. Anyhow, it's less the story that's ground breaking and more the manner in which it is told. The novel is composed of first person narrative fragments from not only the three main characters but numerous minor characters as well (including characters from Ellis’ other works such as Patrick Batemen and Clay from LtZ and Imperial Bedrooms). The overall effect is postmodern…but not predictably so. It’s not simply that characters have a unique voice or a different interpretation of events; it’s that they construct their texts selectively in ways that tell us almost as much by what they choose to deemphasize or amend or change or contradict or neglect altogether. And while you will not feel as emptied out as you might at the conclusion of American Psycho, you will wonder about whether anyone is even capable of a genuine emotion…much less an expression of one. Oh, and it’s somehow really funny at the same time…weird. Deal with it. Rock n' roll.

Snow Crash by Neal Stephenson: Stephenson’s post-cyberpunk yarn has already attained the status of a classic. Like other cyberpunk novels, Snow Crash is set in a near dystopic future in which a computer savvy hero (aptly named Hiro Protagonist) does battle with a plutocratic overlord (the blustery telecommunications monopolist L. Bob Rife). Both Hiro's partner (the cynical 15-going-on-30-year-old who goes by YT for yours truly) and nemesis (a vicious, nuclear weapon toting Aleut called Raven) are vividly rendered and captivating. And yet it’s Stephenson’s tone that is truly refreshing. Rather than the undercurrents of melancholy or resentment or outright paranoia that characterize most cyberpunk, Stephenson seems to say, “Sure, the world is going to hell in a hand basket, but let’s see who might have some fun in all that polluted anarchy and chaos.” At a deeper level, Stephenson considers the viral affinities of language and technology in the process of human history. Don’t certain ideas go viral via rhetoric? Stephenson intelligently explores this capacity for people to be reprogrammed. This book, which served as the inspiration for Google Earth among other apps and products, is part Quentin Tarantino and part Thomas Pynchon. It will blow your fucking mind. Generally, readers from all backgrounds love this book like they love ice cream and cute little puppy dogs. It’s nearly impossible to not love this book. If you haven’t read this book, you need to get up off your ass and go to Barnes and Noble right now. Go on. Get moving. You can read the rest of this blog later….

A Visit from the Goon Squad by Jennifer Egan: Since no Pulitzer was awarded in 2012, Egan’s latest is still the reigning Pulitzer winner for best novel. But is this book even a novel? It says it is on the cover, and it’s certainly not a book of short stories. Maybe it’s something in between… Actually, I don’t know why someone didn’t think of this sooner. It’s kinda like a Robert Altman film on paper. Think Nashville or Short Cuts. Each chapter delves into a revealing slice-of-life of a character that is somehow intertwined with a collection of former punk-rockers who now work as record executives and public relations specialists and whatnot. Some chapters appear in third person narrative and others are in first; some are conventional in form, while others are in the form of magazine stories or power point presentations. It’s pretty wild. And while we never get to know any character really well nor have the time to identify with and root for any one in particular, we get something really unique out of this book. For a thoroughly postmodern novel, all the stories seem to point to one idea, expressed by over-the-hill guitarist Bosco: “Time is a goon.” It sure is, isn’t it? But our awareness of this “truth” (is all metafiction postmodern?) is not built through any conventional modernist symbolic structure; rather, the almost Faulknerian sense of the weight of the past accrues as we suffer the small triumphs and tragedies of small lives that are oddly similar to our own…though they really aren’t. It really is an odd reading experience all around, but Egan successfully grants each chapter a life of it’s own. I’ve never read a book quite like it.

Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace: Wallace’s suicide a few years back was a loss that has cost our culture dearly. His unfinished The Pale King garnered a Pulitzer nomination, and we can only imagine what he could have accomplished with his seemingly infinite talent. There is a certain mythology surrounding Infinite Jest. In the wake of its release, I recall Infinite Jest being lauded as the next Ulysses. And whereas Billy Corrigan failed miserably in creating The Wall for Generation X, GenXer Wallace certainly approached Joyce, Pynchon, Gaddis et al with this text. However, do not be intimidated: whereas most of these long and complex postmodern epics are virtually unreadable, DFW’s text is utterly fascinating. Granted, it is a very long and at times self-indulgent text: DFW (as Wallace is affectionately referred to by his fans) provides endnotes to an already ridiculously detailed text…some of which are 10 or so pages long. Yet the cool thing is that every detail in the book is extremely entertaining, a feature that becomes ludicrously ironic seeing as the American obsession with being endlessly entertained is the theme of the novel. Basically, the book concerns a tennis academy, a neighboring drug residential treatment center, Quebecoise separatists, the Prettiest Girl of All Time (a.k.a. the PGOAT), a crooner President obsessed with cleanliness, and the most entertaining film ever made. Oh, and you might wanna read the cliff notes to Hamlet first (Alas, poor Yorick, I knew him, Horatio…). If I could talk you into reading one book that you would never read, it would be this book. In my judgment, Wallace’s masterpiece is the GBOAT, but who the fuck am I anyhow?

Neuromancer by William Gibson: In a short story entitled “Burning Chrome,” William Gibson first coined the word cyberspace. That was 1982. Shortly thereafter Gibson published his first novel and pretty much gave birth to the cyberpunk genre. But here’s the problem: due to Gibson’s Spartan style, the book poses a surprisingly difficult read. The only basis for comparison for Gibson’s understated style that I’ve been able to dream up lies in James Joyce’s Dubliners. Is that a grandiose statement? Probably. But Gibson is an uber-talented stylist and reveals the world in which cyberspace cowboy Case becomes the pawn of the rogue artificial intelligence Wintermute almost as if you also live in that world, almost as if you were familiar with the paranoid settings of Night City, the simulation matrix, the Sprawl, and the archipelago of space stations orbiting a decrepit and dark planet Earth. But more than just a visionary, groundbreaking, and iconic text, Gibson utilizes everything from AI and programming constructs of dead people to out-of-body prostitution and even Rastafarianism to probe the Cartesian problematic of being. Mind blown. It’s can be a challenging read, but its one of the best novels of the postmodern era, hands down.